Mr. Blue: IV

Mr. Blue has been reading. He’s been reading a lot. He should have taken it in small doses, Mr. Blue cannot. He wants to know what’s happening. What’s going on. He searches between pages for scribbled words and thoughts long gone. He hates the long dark days, waiting for spring to come. If he could, he’d hasten the days and skip seasons on a whim. Try as he might, Mr. Blue knows, life just isn’t a youtube video he can randomly click on. Not a playlist where he can just skip to the next song.

So Mr. Blue waits. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad, mostly numb. He plans on changing all that. Starting tomorrow he’ll go out and start doing things. He read all there is to read, seen all there is to see on a screen. However dark outside, Mr. Blue has almost convinced himself outside there is also light. He might have to change some things. Make choices and decide on things. Mr. Blue never has, doesn’t know how to; lets it linger till others decide wherever it is they’re going. Mr. Blue plans on changing all that. He tells himself enough’s enough. Starting tomorrow he’ll change all that.

He knows though that old habits die hard. Mr. Blue’s finding excuses, Mr. Blue’s trying to steel himself. He’s been reading a lot. Words written by better women and men. They tell him to do things, do the things he loves and likes, to get a good night’s rest, to take care of himself. Tomorrow, Mr. Blue plans to start doing just that. He might even start today, who knows?

The leaves have all fallen and need to be raked away. It’s only slightly raining; he won’t be washed away.